JEFFORD CURRE' HEARTBREAK SPECIAL"Jefford Curre' Epic Memoir" Parental guidance suggested,
Plain upfront indigenous Bahamian Christian language in use.
May not be suitable for families that feel uncomfortable about honest open
communication with their kids.
Just in case you've been deceived into thinking the Bahamas Leading Man of Action is some kind of lady killer, Starsinparadise.com has discovered that the talented nerd might have been a crowd pleaser in, on stage performances, but when it came to girls he had more problems than a giraffe with a sore throat. His story will make you feel good about your own love struggles, or help you realize how fortunate you may be to have a good trustworthy friend.
The story Valentine story begins...
It was a steamy Sunday morning. Steamy for two reasons, 1. The weather was a good 89 degrees Fahrenheit. 2. The preacher was delivering a very fiery message. I drifted off for just a second, half way listening and half way day dreaming about the future. Nothing important, like whether the world is coming to an end or not, but rather trivial thoughts like, how tall would my kids be when they’re 10 years old, would they be boys or girls, or how in the world was I going to feed 43 kids if the price of food kept going up like it had been doing for the past few years. Then suddenly the moment of random fantasy was broken, as I gazed over to the section where the girls sat. She had nice eyes, above all, and they were staring straight at me. Our eyes locked for a moment in a visual tug a war and then randomly broke off before anyone noticed.
After church I wasted no time packing up my horn and making my way to the front of the church, to meet the young lady. With no tack at all, I told her that I liked her. She said she liked me too. I said to her, "Would you like for us to be boyfriend and girlfriend?" She said, "Yes I’d love to." Now that the deal was sealed, I had no idea what was the next step. She lived so far away and I only saw her on Sundays at church, where we went through the usual Sunday morning ritual of discretely blinking back and forth at each other while the Sunday morning service was in full swing. Then after church it would be the usual 15 minutes meeting in the parking lot and small talk, some sneaky hand holding and finally the highly anticipated goodbye hug, in which I squeezed her so hard that there were nipple prints in my chest for about an hour after we went our separate ways.
After a few months, an opportunity arose for us to see each other more frequently. Her family opened a store in the city and she had to manage the store at least once a week. The first week I made it a point to see her. I went by the store and she was glowing with excitement, and so was I. There were not many customers during that time of the day, so it was like having total privacy. Up to that point we had always been surrounded by people. We had a long conversation, then it was time to leave. I gave her a hug and was about to shake hands, but the look in her eyes said, maybe I should ask for a goodbye kiss. To avoid putting on an unexpected performance for some walk-in customer, we worked our way to the back of the store. Five minutes later we took a quick peep out front to make sure the coast was still clear, then returned to the back of the store for another few minutes of passionate saliva exchange. Finally we emerged from the back of the store, perhaps just in time before I passed out. I was truly dazed by her tender lips.
I saw my new girl about a few more times after that, then school exams started to get in the way of our meetings, well at least so I was told. When we finally got together again it was almost time for the big annual Red Cross Fair. It was the event where everyone took their girlfriend to show off. I was so excited about taking her with me. I had gone to great lengths in preparation, however, she was not so enthused. She said she had so much work to do and suggested that maybe we should cool off for a while. I thought this sound rather reasonable. If you love someone, you should set them free. I heard that somewhere in a song, and it seemed to make so much sense at the time. It is so easy to be logical when you have no common sense. I thought to myself, "Man she is really into me, she’s giving us space, that meant that we were an intelligent sophisticated couple, like you see in the movies, besides "What is to be will be." Take my word for it, it’s all crap. Crap, you hear me crap, crap, double dog crap. If someone ever tell you "we should cool off" and not invite you into the shower with them, they’re up to something. Check behind the shower curtain. If they say we need space, and their last name does not end with Kirk, don't fall for it. Space is the final frontier, and if neither of you work for the USSR Enterprise you are being taken. Take my advice. If you love someone, you don't do something as stupid as setting them free, you , smother them. My good friend Raphael Delaveaux always used to say, whenever, a woman is logical, she’s lying. I don’t know if Raphael was completely right, but it does seem to have some merit worth looking into.
Lying is an accepted practice in the non-Christian culture, however, we both were suppose to be the product of a modern Christian culture, operating in the non-Christian culture without copying their bad habits. We were expected to operate differently, and I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I had no reason to believe she would be up to anything, after all she was a Christian. I couldn't imagine that she seriously wanted anything that I could not provide.
One evening hanging out in front of my yard, I saw one of my corner boys, Willard Morley passing by. He came over and said, "Jefford, we have to talk man." Something was bugging him. I could tell from the way he was chewing on a toothpick, as he stood in front of the gate with his hands in his pocket. Willard never minced words when describing in graphic terms any activity that he thought one of his boys should know about. Willard was like an old wise man in a young boy's body and he had a demeanor that surpassed almost everyone, when it came to projecting maturity. He said to me, "Man Jefford, how could you let this happen?" "Let what happen", I replied, "Man ma boy is all over the place bragging about how he’s nailing your chick." He continued, "How could you get roach, (Meaning have your girl taken away) by a dude like that, you’re suppose to be one of the boys, this is not good for our corner’s reputation." I said to him, "I don’t know anything about that." He said to me, "Are you two still together?" I said, "We’re just cooling off." Willard who was far more girl wise than myself said, "Man Jefford, how could you be so dumb, "cool off" means dump." I said to myself, "Willard is just jumping to conclusion. I didn't know what else to say as my mind raced with vivid graphic images of my girlfriend in the back seat of a car hollering, while some other guy was actually pumping her vagina, using his real penis. Willard then once again emphasized, "Man Jefford you've got to get to the bottom of this, it's not good for the corner. We're suppose to be hard." As Willard walked away, I thought to myself, it had to have taken place in a car, probably a big car with a big back seat. Myself then said to me, "Look you idiot, who cares where it took place, the real problem is some slimy sinful guy grinding your Christian girl and he probably did not even say grace before he got started."
That year I went to the Red Cross fair, wandering into the big fair grounds like Christ leaving Jerusalem and wandering into the rest of the world. Well I had to go alone, because I wanted to see what it was like. In good spirits I waited, trying hard not to move in a way that might be interpreted as sinful, as I listened to the beat of the exciting music that was being provided by great performers, like Ronald Simms, and a full line up of high energy performers. I continued drifting around the fair grounds idly. The evening grew dark, the mood lights came on, the atmosphere was wired for lovers. The DJ yelled out, "It’s time for love", and everyone yelled, "Yeah" and grabbed their partner tightly by the side. I was almost about to say "Yeah" then I realized this scene was not for me. It seemed that everybody had someone, except me. What was I still thinking? We were just cooling off, but it was an awkward feeling. At that moment I was consoled by the memory of the scripture that says, "I will never leave you nor forsake you", referring to God of cause. I smothered my feelings into a hamburger and fries then lost myself in the live stage performance.
I strolled around gazing, occasionally a girl would smile with me, but judging from the stuff she was drinking I knew we had little in common. I stepped in some horse stool accidently, and spent the next five minutes cleaning off my shoes in the back of the popcorn stand. Stepping in horse stuff was no joke, it was always a lot of it to deal with. Everything was in full swing, as I returned out front. I happened to look over by the ice cream stall, I saw my girl. I knew her even with her back turned. I felt so happy. I was about to sneak up on her and surprise her, but before I could get over to her, a guy standing next to her reached over and put his arms around her, and they cuddled close together. I stopped in my tracks, wondering in a state of trance. I asked myself, why is she letting him…, then I stopped speaking abruptly, myself said nothing.
All the years I had known myself, this was the first time myself had nothing to say. The band was still on stage playing, but to me it was as if someone had pulled the plug on the sound system for a few seconds. The pockets of my eyes began to swell, some funny green purple and blue watery stuff started passing across my eyeballs. I almost fainted with confused anguish, emotionally derailed by the enzyme of all shattered spirit. Blood was still in me, but it was not flowing. I felt my heart crack as tears drizzled down my cheek, messing up my box of fresh crispy popcorn. The pain I felt was not because she had obviously chosen to be with someone else, I felt betrayed by the massive deception that she felt was necessary just to move on. I tossed my popcorn onto the nearby trash pile and started leaving the fair grounds with my head hanging down. I was completely heart broken, and nerve wrecked as the sound of King Eric’s , song "I Want A Fox Hill Gal When I Get Married" echoed in my ear from the powerful sound system of the fair grounds. I was a lonely man with a close call for love, but now it was back to the drawing board. It seemed like I was never going to get anyone, and with tears in my eyes, I started praying, "Lord give me some wisdom or at least help me to be more like Jesus, who seemed to have no problem attracting women.
In the following days of soul searching and studying, it was revealed to me that a Christian should feel obligated to exercise Christian principles, even in relationships. Christians do not necessarily have to please each other, but they owe it to each other to tell the truth about their feelings for each other.
Maybe she did not want to hurt me, by telling me upfront, so she suggested we cool off. I mean how in the world was I suppose to know "cool off’ meant quit. I don’t care what anyone say, the expression "cool off" means you need some breeze, a little break, fresh air, or wind down from a hot summer day. It does not mean stop a friendship. What fool could not understand that the meanings are clear and separate.
A few years later I met the non-Christian ex-boyfriend. He said to me, "Man I apologize, if I had known that you and your girl were Christians I would not have interfered in the relationship." He tried to even look apologetic, as if it would have made a difference. I may have been a nerd, but certainly no dummy, he must have really thought that I was stupid. I mean let’s face it, he was a sinner, what sinner in his right mind is going to say no to even the remote possibility of a free piece of vagina staring him right in the face. Of cause he could have been lying to everyone in the locker room, (fellows do that a lot to make themselves look heavy among the guys). It was an awkward unexpected meeting and I think he was just saying that to be polite and kill the awkwardness of the occasion.
The ex-boyfriend was a member of the land base police force. At that point land base police were often assigned to team up with the marine police/Defense Force teams, to assist in major hunts for drugs on the outer limits of the Bahamas. Maybe he was clearing the air to eliminate the possibility of being a victim of accidental friendly fire, in the event he was ever assigned on the same mission as myself. I mean let’s face it, it makes complete sense. I would not want anyone armed with a loaded machine gun walking through thick bushes behind me in single file, if he’s holding some personal vengeance against me for something he thought I did.
I still believe my ex-girlfriend was innocent of any sexual encounter with the ex-boyfriend. However, her close friendship with him was a bad judgment call on her part, because it might have tarnished her reputation among those who knew his love ‘em and leave ‘em reputation. On the other hand it could have been a clean cut situation of not getting to love her, so I might as well leave her , so maybe she left him. I never got the true story and really didn’t care anymore, but he was really trying hard for restitution. I said to him, "Don’t sweat it, I’m well over her, I don’t have a new girl yet, but I won’t be going back. You probably did me a big favor and prevented me from future heart quakes and guess what, it's okay. The fact that she even felt at liberty to even consider dating him, knowing full well that his whole value system was exactly the opposite of a Christian, leaves a lot to one’s imagination. There was a great question of personal integrity hanging over her head, well at least for a while. Despite it all I thought she was a beautiful girl and a very nice person, who perhaps could have used a Christian mentor to help her with her love life issues. Most young people do not have a mentor to guide them on sex and relationship issues. Many religious or self righteous people may consider it weird, but without a mentor in these important areas, young and old are forced to guess their way through the hazardous mine field without counsel, love or protection.
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